Ever since I can remember, friends and relatives who have come by to visit with Oliver have always commented on how in tune he is with me. They’ll say “He sure knows who his momma is,” or ” Look at how he reacts to hearing your voice.” It’s kind of hilarious how much he is attached to me. Last night, Oliver and I went to my dad’s house for an early birthday celebration. Of course Oliver knows who his Pappy is, but for some reason, he always gets a little freaked out when people hold him other than Jeremy and I. His eyes get real big and then his lower lip puffs out into a pout, followed by a panicked whimper. If I’m not in his view, he’ll whip his head around until he catches my glance. I’m not really sure when that started. We’ve always had people over, so I know it’s not something new he’s not used to. Since we’ve been co-sleeping, I’ve noticed him tossing and turning until he curls up right into my chest. Whenever I get up in the morning, he immediately wakes up and cries until I pick him up. Ah! What have I done wrong? Probably everything.
Last night, Oliver went to bed around midnight. I laid next to him, slightly worried about the tightening in my chest that I had felt all day. I’m not sure if it was from what I had been eating over the last several days (processed, sugary foods) or maybe even a mini-panic attack. But it scared me enough to start thinking about living a healthier lifestyle. I want to be around for all of the great milestones in Oliver’s life. I want to be able to crawl around on the floor with my future grandchildren instead of being obese and arthritic. You only live life once and having a child definitely clarifies that for you. I don’t want to spend another day lying in bed at night worried that I’m having some kind of heart-related issue due to my unhealthy eating habits/laziness at the age of 26. I want to be that stereotypical family with the decal covered Subaru and 3 mountain bikes attached to the top and muddy hiking boots in the laundry room.
Hopefully over the next few months I’ll be able to report a good bit of weight loss. Walking is like therapy to me, so I just need to get out there and actually do it.