I never realized how fast time goes by until I became a parent. I see the world in a completely different light now. For me, life is evolving and it’s exciting and terrifying. I look at Oliver and think about how I was once that small. The 26 years that I’ve lived so far used to seem so long to me…now all of a sudden I think of memories when I was 5 years old and it seems just like yesterday. The only thing terrifying about growing older is that you realize this is your one shot at life here and you want to make the most of it. Some days you go to bed thinking you could have done more in the day other than just lay around and watch TV. Other days, you go to bed thinking you did a lot and you feel accomplished. I want to the accomplished feeling to outweigh the regretful feeling.
The exciting part of growing older is that you get to watch your child evolve into a grown adult and see them raise a family. Right now I am pushing Oliver’s walker back and forth with my foot while he sleeps in it so I can grab a minute to write all this down. I love watching him grow every week. He’s such a character. I’ve never loved another human being as much as I love him…and Jeremy! I sometimes have a hard time connecting Oliver with my pregnancy. I get butterflies in my stomach when I think about how he was the baby I was anxiously waiting 9 months to meet. He was the little one I was feeling kicking and rolling around in my tummy. He has a personality and he makes us laugh and worry and happy and anxious and sometimes mad (when he refuses to sleep at night). Although I never thought of myself as old before I had him, he kind of makes that transition a little easier.