Down.

The other day while I was grocery shopping with Oliver, I thought I spotted a guy I used to work with. His name was Terry and he was awesome. When I went to work at Tri-Data he was the one who trained me and he was the one who I spent that whole first week with talking to and joking around with. We worked evening shift…4pm-midnight scanning in medical documents all day. It was a very easy job and I loved it because I could talk to people. We only had two other people working our evening shift. Jeremy was one of the other two and I met him during my second week because he was on a cruise. Terry was a very kind guy, with a little bit of roughness to him. He made us laugh and he was always giving people his stuff…his nice stuff for free. I tried getting Jeremy and Terry to quit smoking by bringing in toothpicks for them to chew on and gum as well. I cared about Jeremy and Terry even though, at the time, we were just co-workers. We spent 8 hours a day together working and once the other guy quit night shift, it was just Terry, Jeremy, and I.

Today I went to his Facebook profile because I realized it had been a while since I had seen anything from him. Since I thought I had spotted him at Wal-mart I thought I’d check in. The last time we messaged each other on Facebook he lived in Georgia. The very first comment was from his wife. She posted it yesterday and she said she missed him and loved him. I went on to read several other comments and I realized he had passed away. He died in late November from a heart attack at the age of 30. He was so full of life. He was a dad. It’s just really upset me all throughout the day. I’d call him Turrence because he had a strong country boy accent. I miss him even though I haven’t seen him in 3 years. It’s weird. Jeremy and I knew he had a heart condition because while he was training me I noticed his hands shaking and I mentioned it to him because I thought he was just drinking too much coffee. But he said he had had the heart condition for quite a while and he knew he wasn’t going to live into his 40s. I just never really thought about it. I don’t know if there is a heaven or not, but I hope there is. I hope he’ll get to see his son again and his wife.

I think one of the reasons why it bothers me so much is because Jeremy has mentioned before how he hopes he lives long enough for Ollie to remember him. It’s kind of morbid to talk about and I tell him to quit every time he brings it up. I’d like to think we’ll both die of old age and have lived a long life. I don’t want to think about leaving behind my son or something suddenly happening to Jeremy. I’ve been struggling with losing weight ever since I had Ollie and I know I’m overweight. I feel like this is a wake up call for Jeremy and I both. We need to get healthier and exercise and eat right so that Ollie will never have to worry about something like that happening to either of us. I’m sorry about this downer post, but I just felt like writing about it to see if it would make me feel better.

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